Why Boiz No Dey Smile


Look! Yes, na you I dey talk to… Look at me… Look at me very-very well and tell me how I look. You think say I dey joke with you? Now, focus! Do you know why you don’t think I have dimples? No! No guess coz I fit break your head if you no gimme correct guess. Now, listen make I tell you why – I no dey smile. Now, you fit guess… Yes, I’m an angry young-man! I don’t know about you…

I be Naija boy. And if there’s anything every Naija boy shares deeply with Naija babes, it’s the fact that we are angry. We are tired of waking up each morning, wishing it’s our own apartment we woke up in. We are tired of calling our parents every now and then, arguing over how fast we lavished our previous month’s upkeep. We are tired of washing our uncle’s cars; cars we are not even allowed to drive. We are tired of sticking to a girl we hate her face but can’t stop seeing coz we are interested in her father’s money. We are tired of calling ourselves graduates before illiterates who spend more in clubs per night more than we’ve earned all our lives. We are tired of reading Vanguard or The Sun. Why the hell would we be reading their boring columns and lies if not for the hope of stumbling on some great job opportunity? Who wants to read horribly written articles about things he doesn’t give a hoot about? Mtcheeew…

We are tired of watching African Magic; there are better places to go hear fake American and or British accents and watch fake people. We just don’t have enough to subscribe and stream videos on Netflix. And those of us wey even get the money no fit stream coz internet for here na die… You want to talk about NTA? Mttchew… I think say you dey serious sef!


We are tired of wishing we were born in a better country. We are tired of listening to crappy Nigerian songs. But they seem to be the only things that reflect our wishes, dreams and frustrations. And don’t forget they also make us dance. We are tired of listening to Wole Soyinka speak ‘English’. Na grammar we go chop ni? We are tired of NEPA or whatever name they call themselves now! Nawa ooo! As our depression reach, at least make we see light charge our phones na!

We are tired of watching Nigerian matches. If we need heart-ache, the frequent shocks we get from riding through pot holes should be enough for us. We are tired of our government. We don’t even know what government means coz we used expo in answering the question ‘Define Government’ in our first ‘Government’ exam. As una no give us better Government teacher, una no wan make we pass too? Dey there na…

We are tired of being told we know nothing; we look like Jon Snow? If you really wanted us to, why the hell didn’t you teach us like he was? Must you try kill us too! Well, your juju no work; we no go die like am. We are tired of being called lazy. Why the hell would you want to blame us for learning what you taught us? We are tired of all the names we are called; you don’t even want to know the names we wish we could call you all… Fuck it! Why be pretentious here? The truth is; you all would jump into River Niger if you hear our perceptions of you.  And we are tired of being told we are lost. Come on, you guys told us our language was vernacular, punished us in school for speaking it, taught us that putting suit under our hot weather is the definition of being educated, now you still want to blame us for being led astray by Western culture? No be thunder go fire una?


We are tired of being called the future leaders. If Atiku couldn’t trust OBJ when he was promised ‘the next’ tenure, how could we trust you old boiz? I mean, no be una extend retirement age? We are tired of Sunday sermons, that’s why we make sure our phones are fully charged every Sunday morning. We are tired of school too; who the heaven wants to stress himself for five years only to end up suffocating on a job hunting cue? We saw the pictures on Facebook; at least Mark Zuckerberg was cool enough to give us a channel to kill off the depression you choke us with and get informed along the line. We are tired!

And we are sick and tired of being tired! And if the rest are not tired of keeping quiet, well, Ebuka Njoku is.

So, while you spend your days wishing things could get better, I want to tell you the reality, they won’t; until you do. We may spend the whole day blaming our parents for not giving us enough to fly, the society for not giving us enough support to ride or the government for not giving us enough platforms to stand. Well, ride on, bro; keep up with the blames – you hear?

But ask yourself this ‘How long do you have to dream?’ How long do you still have to call yourself ‘young’?… How long do you think you could still hang around your father’s or relative’s couch? How ready are you for that job you’re hunting? If you are, what then is stopping you from getting it? How well have you really positioned yourself for that position you want? What would you tell your children tomorrow? Are you still angry? Should you even still be angry? Why should you still be angry? Who you wan vex for – the people who’ve refused giving you what you think you deserve or yourself, for not being strong and gutsy enough to go get it yourself?

Boiz no dey smile, no be because say boiz no dey happy… Boiz no dey smile coz boiz dey sleep…



One thought on “Why Boiz No Dey Smile

  1. The bitter truth be say boiz don tire to dey believe in themselves everyday they wake up and it’s still the same old shit, same news twisted in another form, same reggae and blue blasting @ the far end of the street.

    Boiz will start to smile reading this piece as they wrap it like “igbo” and get themselves high in order to muster the gut to breakout from the wishful thinkings of a failed parents, an insane government, a staggering society and the madness of it all.
    Boiz must rise from their falls & flaws if they heed to this wonderful piece as a wake up call.
    Till then boiz are not smile… And how sure are you, they will smile @ this !

    Liked by 1 person

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