Why God Won’t Bless Nigeria

 Image by Neec Imagery

What exactly do we want God to do for Nigeria? Tell me… Everyone prays for something. While the kid prays for a better country, the youth prays for spaces to light their spot, men pray for a bite of the cake and the old prays for the kids’ bites of the cake. So, the day Onyeka Nwelue asked me ‘Are you Patriotic?’ Before I could answer, he said ‘I’m not talking about now, I’m talking about you after you have seen what patriotism has done to people’. So let’s for a moment kiss some pot and ask each other ‘Are you Patriotic?’ And when the other shouts ‘Yes’, take his hand, ask him to show you proofs better than their vocal response. How many of my mates can recite the national anthem? Am I even sure I remember those nice lines I watch people sing bluntly? So, what exactly do we want God to do for us? To make us better? Isn’t it? My question is, can’t we make ourselves better?


I don’t know the God you pray to. But I trust your image of God is something similar to some sexy dude who looks thirty but commands a know it all aura and some magical powers beyond every super power ability we’ve seen in movies. And I trust we imagine him sitting on a throne made with the finest of every fine thing. And pretty sexy but innocent looking female angels surround him and always sing to his glory. What else? And he created you. And he’s in charge of everything good on earth. Including helping you get your first blow job. Yeah? Oh! Wasn’t that God too? So, the testimony you gave in the church about the contract you got by bribing some government official wasn’t God too? So, the people killed during elections weren’t the work of God every politician appreciates on TV whenever they win election also God’s acts? Oh! That wasn’t God, that was you, right? But you could have written a bad-ass proposal and got your self a great street credibility instead. But bribing is easier. At least, if the construction lasts for three years, you know of companies whose own didn’t last past a season. So, how is devil involved in this shameless blame game we play in Nigeria? And how do we call upon God to clear a mess we brought upon ourselves? And how stupid do you think God is? It’s clear in your bible ‘Your fucking prayers don’t get answered because you pray amiss’ You don’t ask God to help you get a job and wake up the next day by twelve pm and spend the rest of the day, eating, chasing girls and hash-tagging everything on every social media.


I know God is kind but he’s not stupid. And if we believe we were created in his image, that means we should understand that his thoughts are extensions of ours’ and we all have abilities to make miracles. Niggar, I’m not talking about TB Joshua show, I’m talking about the miracle in your hand, the technology you’re using to read this. The you that is smart and blessed enough to have access to this and understand it and every damn thing Nigeria has and could have. I’m saying that the first steps towards having a better Nigeria should be for all us us to really start wishing for it till the wish turns to a psychotic dream. I want to be rich! But I can’t feel safe here if I can’t drive around Ajegunle at night and not have to look around, scared I may be attacked any second. So, what sense does it really make in being rich in a fucked up country? So, why can’t we focus more on something that binds us all – the fucking name; NIGERIA. The fact is, if Nigeria gets better, our lives would instantly get better. I mean, how can we be better than America if we don’t stop worshiping them? How can we be praying for a better Nigeria for years and not stand up for a while and try work the prayers out? Coz, if you think about it well, the prayers have been answered already,


We are the eighth most populated country on earth. How many countries have more crude oil deposit in the world? And we are branded very hospitable. We have over 200 ethnic groups so we have enough cultural back-ground to fuck the world tourism-wise. And we have good lands and great climate conditions. And bet me, we are the most untapped country on earth. But these are the only things we’ve achieved while praying:

#  Let the crude oil we are blessed with turn into our greatest curse.

 Allow selfishness make us fight each other so we the strength of many has been shrink to the weakness of the divided.

# Look for helps from the same countries that ruined us.

 Love blame games more than PS 2. So we are saints living in the land of sin.

#  Value money more than the brain to make and manage it – so we remain poor and        frustrated.

#  Never try to understand that we don’t love Nigeria because we don’t love ourselves and the reason we turn our eyes off is not because of others’ disappointment but because we doubt if we can do better ourselves. Taking off the eyes seem to bury the guilt. But, does it?


Grammar don finish for my mouth. But before I drop my pad, lemme chip in another question.  If you were God, would you still want to bless Nigeria? Now, you’re not – do you think we are not blessed already? So fuck prayers, if we really love Nigeria, we should fucking show it in actions not in blabbing like I do or opening NGOs we turn into paying careers or cracking our voices in churches. Coz, God has already blessed Nigeria with you and that is enough. Unless you are not a blessing. Then, you are our curse…