Are You…

 The best word that describes me is not ‘Crazy’; it’s ‘Arsehole’. I’m so mad; sometimes I wonder where I’m from. Some say it’s probably mars but hey, do I look like Bruno? Oh! Shit! I don’t know why I tend to over-write. Now, straight to why I’m writing this.

I wish we could someday have a world where it makes sense to approach a girl and say without mincing words ‘I love your fat arse and large boobs; and it would really make sense if you could let me fuck you; I’ll try my best to make you cum; what do you say?’

Life would have been a lot simpler like that. That way, you don’t have to spend your precious time wooing a girl with dumb chats and fake smiles and laughs. That way, you don’t need to feign you care a hoot about her. That way, there would be no word like ‘break-up’. When you think about it; that shit always proceed a built up relationship. That way, a niggar would have as much sex as he wants with as many girls as possible and not feel bad about hurting someone. I know what you’re asking yourself right now ‘What about someone to lean on?’. Why the fuck was the heart attached to human’s body? Why the fuck was that ape they claim we sprung from wasn’t smart enough not to grow a heart? Why the hell must we have emotions? The world would have been a better place without emotions. Right? Yeah; I’m right; right? How come I feel otherwise?

I think its daunting staying awake all through the night thinking about some dude who cheated on you or worrying about some girl not picking your call or being trashed by someone you’ve spent some days, weeks or years of your life developing feelings for. It’s worse getting over that and falling back into it after some break. The killer is the fact that, once the first experience is had, there’s no going back; only worse shows.

At a point you tell yourself you’re done with people. So you throw your heart into some art, science discovery or business, hoping that you’ve hopped into a ride in Disney land. First, you meet your beginners’ luck.

Some smiles…

Some dancing around..

Some parties…

Instagram pix…

Tweets and

Facebook posts…

… You feel like a rock-star.

And then…

Click… Click… Click… A toy story gradually springs to the middle of avatar and soon, you’re watching the end of Romeo and Juliet. And while floating in the mix of emotions, you hear some idiot say ‘And there would never be a story of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo’.

So, you walk out from the theatre telling yourself you’ve seen it all. Nature smiles at you, and you feel like you’re up again until another click… And you realise that yeah, Romeo and Juliet was just some story from a bard’s mind and life really has more woes than could be written by Shakespeare or cinematographed by some Janus Kaminski.

And down at that road, you lose your sanity. And that girl you wish you could just ask for a quickie becomes the shoulder you need to lean on. So, once again, you’re wishing you could get more than just a release of sperm. And when the spotlight has been taken off her, and you see that beyond her large shoulder are some pimples, some stretch marks, some bitterness as much or more than yours’. And you who needed to be saved are gradually becoming a saviour who needs to be saved.

So, you shut your eyes and dream.

Flash lights…

Thrones…

Angels…

Leonardo’s strokes…

Marylyn’s charm…

Mozart’s melody…

Enya’s voice…

And then…

Click… Click… Click…

It’s morning once again. You have deadlines. You love your bed but it’s time to go…

Once again, you wish you could dream on. But that is the path to a grave. It’s not like you love this zone but you’re just scared of the hell that leads to heaven, the heaven that leads to hell or the quagmire-like float in purgatory.

So you sink in self-doubt or delusion, glower in your over-blown dreams or walk in complete denial while I ask heavens ‘Why the fuck did you make the mistake of creation!’

I’m done.

Fuck this shit! Or beam me a warm smile and say ‘Hi’; if you’re pretty though.

Are you?

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2 thoughts on “Are You…

  1. Asides the vulgarity and over sabi grammar, nice write ups. I love this one more. Emotion is part and parcel of humans.Life is a risk. We risk loving though we are aware that our hearts are fragile. We risk living tho we are aware that we are mortal. No matter how hurt we get or how disappointed, betrayed or abandoned we get, it always boils down to someone new and special to sooth the pain away. The self torture we encounter after each bad experience makes us stronger and wiser.
    I however agree with you that life would be easier if we could just own up to what we require from people as soon as we meet them. An agreement seals the deal and no one feels cheated. The fakeness and bags of lies obtainable out there are heart wrenching.
    Worst still, the undeserving victims bitterly embark on a vengeance mission creating a cycle of madness. Sad reality.

    By the way, I am! “Hi!”

    Like

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